Stephen Colbert, for once, wanted to grant President Trump’s wishes.
On “The Late Show” Monday night, the funnyman pushed back against one of Trump’s tweets.
“Late Night hosts are dealing with the Democrats for their very ‘unfunny’ & repetitive material, always anti-Trump!” the President tweeted Friday.
Colbert, however, had some questions.
“First of all, ‘unfunny?’ In quotes? Which means you think we’re funny? In which case, I want to say, ‘thank you for understanding how quotes work?’” he said.
“And he ended that tweet by saying, ‘should we get equal time?’ I know that one: no. That’s not how this works. You’re the President. We make fun of you. But we’re going to do it anyway, just to make you feel better, sir.”
Colbert was then joined on stage by “another host licensed in unfunny,” former “Daily Show” host Jon Stewart.
Trying to give equal time for all networks, Colbert and Stewart began by revising “Big Bang Theory” and “Young Sheldon” into “Creationist Bazinga Fun Time Hour” and “Young Jesus.”
The most positive comment Stewart could come up with was that “Donald Trump is not a cannibal.”
“Given the choice between hot lava poured into my pee hole and Donald Trump being President, I choose la…the latter,” he said.
The two comedians also had a disagreement on how far to take their presidential praise.
“Donald Trump is great to women,” Stewart said.
“Great?” Colbert responded.
“Better than Harvey Weinstein.”
Stewart also took offense at Trump’s “calm before the storm” comment during a Thursday photo op with military officials and their spouses.
“What is wrong with this guy? You’ll find out? A cliffhanger, surrounded by military people. Will Trump give humanity the rose? Will civilization make it to the fantasy suite?” Stewart spit into the camera.
“Calm before the storm? How is all this not the storm? This is all the storm! What kind of sociopath would use that terminology when people are still literally cleaning up from storms?”
To end the segment, Colbert struggled to come up with his own compliment.
“Donald Trump…is not…a cannibal,” he said.
“This is monstrous behavior that, in a just world, would not have been allowed to go on for decades. Of course, Weinstein went on to defend it.”